Getting Things Done: Doctors and Bloodwork

One of the things on my (massive) To-Do List was to schedule a physical and get blood work done. I haven’t been to get blood-work done since I was about twelve. (I know). I did actually had blood drawn when I was nineteen and in the ER for stomach pain, but I don’t know what they tested in that blood test. I just remember that they told me my levels were all normal. I am assuming it wasn’t anything like blood-sugar, cholesterol, or the traditional “clinical” blood-work.

On Monday I decided it was time to bite the bullet. I knew if I went ahead and did it I’d at least have it done before tax-season got into full swing, and I’d be able to go into any baby making with a clear conscience. I normally dread the doctor. I’ve been known to actually cancel appointments because I was having a bad day and couldn’t be bothered with going to the doctor on top of it all.  Somehow though, I didn’t dread this appointment at all.

On the way over to the doctor’s appointment I found myself feeling a little nervous. And honestly, looking back, I can’t tell you what for. I really can’t. (Which is probably a good thing). I was listening to K-Love on the radio. (I turned in on after Christmas since I was missing my Christmas music, and then they kept mentioning this “30 Day Challenge” and I’d already been listening to it for about 2 weeks straight so I figured, why not?) And while some people might not buy it, I just prayed and asked God to please just take away this small bit of anxiety I was feeling and I asked him to please just give me an easy appointment. I was only about 60 seconds away from the doctor’s office by the time I finished my request.

When I walked in the door I was literally greeted the second I walked up to the window. Even though my insurance and name had changed I was processed quickly and given paperwork to fill out. Before I could even finish filling out the paperwork the triage nurse came for me and we started the blood pressure, weight, and entry questionnaire type things. When she finished she told me the P.A. would be in with me shortly and honestly within 5 minutes she was there in the room with me. I got a small lecture about my weight (I’m at the top of my BMI- which I knew, partially it’s because I’ve gotten lazy about exercising, partially because I do genuinely just have a big frame). But that was it. Other than that she had nothing negative to say. She gave me paperwork for routine blood-work which she doesn’t expect to see any huge problems with based on my answers to her questions.

I hate blood work but I am oddly (or maybe not so oddly) at peace about having done. I plan on asking the phlebotomist to just take whichever arm she wants and then asking to let me please just be in my own world. I’m a little worried about what the results might be, but I am trying to again put my faith in God (just like I did for the doctor’s appointment) that everything will come back fine and that even if something is off, it will be easily manageable. I got the (almost) exact appointment I wanted, for 7:45am on Monday.

If you’re wondering why I am sharing this with you the answer is that I wanted to share the fact that I conquered a fear. (Well, I’m technically still in the process of conquering it.) And I conquered my fear by asking God for help.

 

Advertisements

Are you there God, it’s me Emily?

Growing up my mom brought my sister and I to the Catholic Church (Dad came too, but only because he loves my mom that much!). On Sunday’s we attended “CCD”, which stood for something, but was pretty much Sunday School, really long Sunday School. I went because Mom made me and in 7th grade she stopped making me, so I stopped going. We never really talked about God in our family. We said our prayers at Sunday dinner but I feel like that was the extent of it.

In 9th grade my friend Cindy called and said, “Hey- you should come to youth group with me.” I’m pretty sure somebody put her up to it, but that’s how God works isn’t it? I was pretty active in the church and youth group from 9th through 11th grade, and then when my friends graduated and headed off to college my attendance dwindled. I do believe that church, like home, is where the heart is and without those friends the church didn’t feel the same.

When I met my husband around the end of my freshman year of college it turned out that he was active in the same church I had been in high school, he’d just come in right as I was finishing up there. Church was important to him so after I graduated college and we moved in together I started going to church with him again. But I’ve never really feel anything.

Fast forward to the last few months. I’ve been watching Nikki Phillippi and Rachel Talbott on youtube (Click their names for links to their videos)- and every time I watch their videos I am so astounded by their absolute faith and belief. I don’t understand, how do people reach the point where when someone asks “What’s the most important thing in your life?” they answer “My relationship with God.” so naturally? What am I missing? How do they have so much passion?

I’ve been working on finding happiness and I think a lot of finding happiness and letting go of worry is finding a feeling of safety in God’s arms but I just don’t feel anything, and I feel like I try. I go to church on Sundays because I want to not because I should. Hubby and I are even serving communion at some of the up coming services. I love that feeling when I come out of the gym after a good work-out, or especially after yoga, and a great song comes on K-Love (I’d say that they play “worship” music). So why don’t I feel anything more? Does anyone have any advice for me?