The Case of the Missing Blogger

Hello blogging world- I know it has been quite some time. I had some major life changes that took place in the beginning of Lent that totally misdirected the focus of the last few months. The big news? I’m pregnant! I am 13 weeks (I actually found out 10 weeks ago today.) As you can imagine, even when you are planning for something like that the shock that it has actually happened is a little bit distracting. It completely threw off my path for Lent because I just couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

Over the last few weeks I’m way more used to the idea and better able to focus on things in my life again. We just got back from a vacation in Disney, the hours at work have simmered down, and I’ve even started attending a bible study at my friend’s house once a week. So yes, things are definitely getting back to normal, or at least, the new normal.

That’s all I really wanted to share for now. I will have more posts in the next couple of weeks I just wanted to explain why I’ve been on a hiatus and let everyone know I will be back.

It’s not about me

Last night I started The Purpose Driven Life as part of Lent devotional. Rick Warren suggests that you mark up the book and use it as a place to meditate on the things discussed in each chapter. While I can’t bring myself to do that, I thought I might use my blog as the place to process these thoughts. That way, I can pass the book along to a friend if they are interested when I’m done- and won’t feel bad for having marked it up so badly.

At the end of each day there is a summary, which I think I’ll include and then I’ll contemplate it’s meaning.

Day 1: Thinking about my purpose

Point to ponder: It’s not about me.

Verse to remember: “Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.” Colossians 1:16b (The Message)

Question to Consider: In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really living for God, not myself?

I almost feel like the point to ponder ‘It’s not about me‘ would better serve as a mantra than a temporary point to ponder. I feel like in some ways it is much bigger than a thought you consider for a day, but is rather something you need to constantly be telling yourself. I’m not saying to abandon all selfish pursuits because I think that those are incredibly valuable tools, but what I mean is that I think it’s important to focus more on the questions of what does God have planned for me, than what do I want to do with my life.

When an opportunity passes you by I think it’s important to contemplate whether it is something God might be asking of you. I can’t really figure out how to make this more tangible and easy to grasp. I guess it means that God created you with a purpose for your life in mind, and some choices you get to make, and others were set out by Him. So in addition to doing things that will enrich your life you need to be on the lookout for those things that you can do to please God.  

I think that in this day and age, where so many twenty-something’s are leaving college with the impression that they can have exactly their dream job, and to settle for nothing less, it’s hard to not become self-focused. It’s hard to not consider yourself first because we did grow up in a day and age where we got trophies for everything, where we were told daily how unique and precious we are, and where we are told to dream big. There is nothing wrong with any of those things except for that we were never taught how to put living for God first. Again, this is something that I find somewhat hard to reflect on because I feel like it’s just something you need to remind yourself daily, but I did want to try and contemplate it a little more deeply.

Let me know if you have any thoughts, I really would love to hear them.

 

Lent 2014

As I start this blog I can’t help feeling an overwhelming sense of deja vu. I feel like I’ve already written this post, which is odd because I most certainly have never endeavored to do anything like this project before.

As most of you know the Lenten season begins today, March 5th with Ash Wednesday. and goes until April 19th, Holy Saturday. It is common practice to “give something up” for Lent, a practice that even those who aren’t church go-ers often participate in. There are two beliefs for the fasting. The first is that you fast as a form of penitence for your sins. The second theory is that the fasting is a reminder of the 40 days that Jesus spent in the desert being tempted. I’m not sure that these two things really have to be mutually exclusive. 

This year for Lent I have decided to do two things. The first thing I am doing is giving up Facebook and Twitter. I’ll be honest these two vices are big distractions in my life. I am actually glad at the excuse to forgo them for 40 days. Granted, just because I am glad at the excuse, does not mean it will be easy. I do believe them both to be a source of negative energy in my life, and in many ways they ‘tempt’ me to sin. They evoke gossip and judgements about people in my life. They steal time away from more noble pursuits. And while it is never something I intend, they also may serve as a platform for boastfulness. So for these reasons, I am giving them up. I am allowing myself to stay on some social media (Goodreads, Instagram) because I feel like I don’t waste nearly the amount of energy or time on them, and I feel like they are positive outlets for my passions in life.

The next thing I am doing is a more ‘contemporary’ view of Lent

Instead of fasting, I will be indulging. Indulging in the word of God that is, and indulging in the interpretation of it by other spiritual leaders. Each day I will devote the time to reading the selected passages from my YouVersion bible app. It’s a program that will lead you through the Bible in a year. I’ve gotten behind so I’m actually only in Exodus right now (Pharoh Pharoh just let his people go!- please get the camp song reference there). The next thing I am adding is reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I knew I wanted to add a devotional type activity, and this book actually works well for it. It’s 40 chapters I believe.  And I believe the version I am getting (coming in the mail today) will have those little bar codes you can scan with your phone to get additional content online. I am a little tentative because I feel like I’ve heard negative things about Rick Warren for some reason, but I am optimistic about the experience.

I know that Lent should be a time of sacrifice and so I can’t help but feel like I’m doing it a little bit “wrong” that I am actually excited and happy about the changes this Lent season may bring to my life. It is what it is though. What are you giving up for Lent? Are you adding something? Please let me know what you’re up to and what you think of my plans. I’d love the feedback!

 

Scripture Challenge: Matthew 22:37-39

It’s been a while since I posted something on here and I now that i finally have the time to do it, I’m coming up short on what to write about. I thought I’d give another scripture challenge a try. Ironically, I’m pretty sure this particular verse was read this past weekend at church. 

Here’s today’s scripture off Bible Gateway: 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-39NIV

 

Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’

To really understand this I decided to take a look at the 22nd chapter of Matthew a little closer. I wanted to know to whom it was Jesus was talking. As it turns out Jesus was speaking to the Sadducees. Since I’m not particularly strong in biblical history I decided to google these people. According to wikipedia, the Sadducees are a sect of Jews who were in charge of maintaining the temple. It also appears that they were of a higher and more prestigious socio-economic class. 

Jesus was prompted by one of the Sadducees to tell him what the greatest commandment of all was. The above was his response. But what does it really mean? Love your Lord your God with all your heart, means not to be a Sunday Christian. It means to love the Lord so much that each and every act is done with him in mind. On a personal level I equate it to the way that I consider my husband before I make household decisions. It’s easy to consider him because he is a physical presence in my life. What the first part of this reading is saying though, is to love God in that same way. Do things because they are what God would want. Do things because the being that loves you most in this world would want it that way. 

The verse goes on to say to love the Lord your God with all your soul. This is a harder one personally to quantify. What does it mean to do something with all your soul. To figure out what this meant I took to google. (What a handy little friend!). After looking at a few blogs it turns out that people distinguish loving with your soul from your heart by noting that your soul is a matter of devotion, your heart is a matter of affection. I consider my husbands wishes each day because I love him, the same way I suggested in the previous paragraph that I need to make decisions by asking myself if it was what the God who loves me would want. In this case though, it become a matter of doing things because you’ve made the commitment to do so. When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior you undoubtedly make a commitment to God. At some points it’s going to be hard to keep, but loving him with all your soul means that you do it anyway. I imagine a situation where God is challenging you. Maybe he’s telling you that you need to be kind or helpful to someone whom you have absolutely no desire to be kind and helpful to. When you love your Lord with all your soul, you do it anyway. Because pleasing him is more than a matter of love, it’s a matter of devotion. You do it because it is what He wants. 

The final part of the triad is to love the lord with all your mind. I’ll be honest, I had to take to google again and read the thoughts of some others here. I believe what the reading means when it says to love God with all your mind it means to think on the words of the bible daily. Share the words of the bible daily. Share your faith and beliefs with others. Loving the Lord with all your mind means to be cognisant of Him in all that you do. 

Then Jesus declares, This is the first and the greatest commandment of them all.

Jesus probably says this to emphasize the importance of this commandment. While it is important to follow the other teachings, it feels as if He is saying that if we cannot do this, we will some how be following the rest in vain. We need to obey this first commandment, so that we can have any hope of obeying the rest.

Finally, Jesus says, ‘And the second is, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

The interpretation of the last part of this reading is easy enough to understand. It’s been taught to most people since they were a child. Basically, treat others the way you want to be treated. But this is one that falls severely short in practice. It is one thing to be kind to another person. As a people-pleaser I find kindness towards other normally pretty easy. The problem is, the verse doesn’t actually say “treat others as you’d like to be treated”, it says love your neighbor as yourself. I believe this to mean that at a much deeper level we need to treat others with love. Love encompasses such features as patience, forgiveness, understanding, empathy, and kindness. This is very hard to do. And I believe that this in many ways is where loving God with all your mind comes into play. Some times loving your  neighbor is going to require a constant thought of God, and how he would want you to treat them.

This is just my few thoughts on the daily verse off biblegateway.com. I hope I did the verses justice and that somewhere, someone gains something from my consideration of the verse. God Bless!

God Let’s Us Make U-Turns

This blog wasn’t intended to solely be about my spiritual growth, but as a part of making myself a happier person I did decide I wanted to work on it, and thus it’s getting shared a lot. This morning at church our pastor said something that really sunk in with me. “We believe in a God who allows U-Turns.”

I had to take a moment to think about what he meant by this. Basically what he was saying was that our God knows we make mistakes, but every day is a day to start over. Yes, people do make bad decisions, really bad decisions, but they can come back from that. 

Before he had gotten to his “point” – which was that God allows U-turns he’d been talking about things like adultery, murder, addiction, and other “big ticket” sins. And I found myself thinking on a certain situation I’d been witness to and wondering, well how does that person live with themselves. I can understand that life moves on and so do people, but as a Christian how can that person not feel like God is “mad at them.” Or more than that, when they go to church and hear the preacher speaks on their sin (in general), how do they not just feel red-faced and shamed? Not that I would want them to, but how do they not feel that way

And then it kind of all clicked. They don’t have to. People do make mistakes. They can even make really bad mistakes, but it doesn’t have to define them as a person, they can move on from them. That is the power of forgiveness and God’s grace. 

That’s a tough concept to swallow.

It is very much my gut instinct that those who have harmed us, or who have done blatantly wrong things, should have to suffer a reciprocal hardship. It’s not even that we really want bad things to happen in the world, it’s just that we’re almost looking for a sense of justice. As if to say that something terrible happening to a person who harmed us would make us feel better about the whole thing. The thing is, it’s a wasted thought. Even if something bad did happen to that person, it doesn’t really make us feel better. 

When you hear that Jesus died on the cross so that we might all be forgiven for our sins, you kind of take that for what is is. You think about it in the sense that if I judge, or if I miss an opportunity to witness, that I will be forgiven for my sin. I think it’s a whole different thing to be able to see that Jesus died to forgive others of their sins. And that you really do get to start over fresh with him each and every minute of every day. 

I think it greatly helps in the process of learning to forgive others to know that God has already forgiven them. When you find yourself thinking, how do they live with themselves, you can get caught up in that and stuck on that. You really do just want to know how they can go on with their life after doing something so heinous. But the thing is, it’s just a mistake. If people never made them pencils wouldn’t come with erasers. When you drill down on it and can allow yourself that they were just mistakes they made, or even a series of mistakes it helps. When you can understand that they can live with themselves because God forgives you for mistakes, it helps. 

I’m not sure if this post is going to make sense to anyone beyond myself. I just found the simple reminder that “God allows U-Turns” to be incredibly germane to one of my biggest areas of weakness. Hopefully though, this reminder, that God allows U-Turns will be helpful to someone who does need help forgiving either them-self or someone else.  

Valentine’s Day Gifts for Girlfriends

Yesterday at work I had the thought that I wanted to do something special for my office Valentines, who are true friends even outside the office. I’d kind of been mulling the idea of a “Happy Thoughts” jar because we sometimes have a group text where we can whine about our day without fear of judgement and where we also try and cheer/lift each other up. I went to Pinterest sure that they’d have some sort of template but they didn’t really. I did see a ton of those write down a memory each day jars. So here is what I did.

ImageFirst, I traced the outline of the lid for a mason jar I picked up at target. I cut out that circle and then I actually put it inside the metal ring and traced it again. The first circle cut off words. Then I wrote out the poem pictured above. I can’t take credit for that I saw it on another blog but it was so perfect I used it for my own!

Then I took about an hour each girl and wrote out cute little messages on pieces of colored card stock. At first I was going to do a lot of cute quotes but since my jar was kind of small and I was using smaller sheets of paper and didn’t want to have to try and write really tiny I did shorter and more simple things. Some of the things I used were:

  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy shoes and that’s kind of the same thing.
  • You are BLESSED.
  • This too shall pass.
  • You are loved.
  • My life is better for having had you in it. 

You can use bible verses, cute jokes, inspirational quotes, happy memories, whatever you want, those are just a few of the ones I used because I know I was having trouble getting started. 

I kept them pretty simple and sweet and tried to make them pertain to the girl who was receiving it. Here is a picture of the final product!

Image

 

To try and dress it up just a tiny bit I used that multicolored Valentine’s day string that I found at Target and slipped a pink heart through a piece of it to ask them if they’d be my Valentine. I haven’t given them out yet (it’s only 6am) but I am hoping they will love them!

 

Scripture Challenge

Part of being a Christian is reading the bible and learning how to work the messages and lessons into your every day life. After reading a friend’s blog post (http://lamerediaries.blogspot.com) I decided to try something new. I went to Bible Gateway to read their Daily Verse (most websites have them, and I know my YouVersion App has one).

Today’s verse is oddly one of the most over-used and cliched verses out there. It reads the following:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV

So what can I take away from this message to make my life better and more fulfilling here on earth? I take the following lessons.

Love is patient. I need to remember that everyone has lived a different life than mine. Just because something makes sense to me or just because I would do things some way doesn’t mean that another persons choices are wrong. I need to be patient with others (as I would want them to be with me). 

Love is kind. Love means not holding or saying a bad word against people. This is very hard for me. I like to tell people what is wrong with my day or how I’ve been wronged (“Can you believe the person who I’m working with showed up an HOUR late today?”). The problem with that is that if you focus on the negative you’ll only see the negative. Also, being mad at someone or thinking not kind things is only going to negatively affect the way I’m feeling.

It does not boast. I’m generally not a boastful person so this is fairly easy for me to understand and apply. Basically, do not brag or show off the wonderful things in your life. Be happy, express your happiness. However, do not do it in an attempt to make other people feel inferior about what they have.

It does not dishonor others. Love in some ways can apply to the work you do or even the strangers you meet in every day life. Do not dishonor others means treat everyone with respect and as Jesus would have. There’s an expression somewhere along the lines of Be the Christian Message you want people to see. I know that’s not exactly what it says but basically act in such a Christian way that people who are new to the faith don’t need a bible to know what Jesus teaches.

It is not self-seeking. The Bible tells us to act in a way that will honor and please God. It is important for me, and everyone, to remember that when you make decisions in your life you need to make them bearing in mind what God would want you to do, not what you would want to do. If you don’t know how to react in a certain circumstance, you can always go ask God for guidance.

It is not easily angered. This is similar to patience. Be appeasing and don’t look for reasons to find fault in others. The expression “Be slow to anger and quick to forgive” is one that echos the sentiment of this phrase.

It keeps no record of wrongs. This goes back to something I read in Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project” she says she built a better marriage on the concept of quitting with the score cards. Love isn’t about who has done what for whom, or who messed up and how. Forgiveness means just that, forgiveness. If the Heavenly Father is not keeping tabs on each and every sin you commit (thank goodness the list would certainly be long) then why should you treat others, especially those that you love, the same way.

What do you think? What practices do you use to help you become and stay a better Christian?

An Exercise in Getting to Know Myself

I was on Gretchen Rubin’s blog and found that a while ago she posted a list of questions to get to know yourself better. I thought just for fun I’d ask myself these questions, share teh answers with you, and see if I feel any more aware of who I am. Plus I am so off the blogging game that I have very little inspiration as far as where I should be going in my happiness project.

If something is forbidden, do you want it less or more?
This would depend on the context. If something is forbidden because it poses dangers to myself or others then I really don’t want it. For example drugs are forbidden but they’re dangerous and don’t really hold any appeal to me. On the other hand, if you tell me that I can’t touch an birthday present until 5 o’clock and leave it out in the open all day I’ll be dying to open it.

Is there an area of your life where you feel out of control? Especially in control?
I feel like I’m not in particularly good control of my habits. I can’t seem to act consistently at healthy eating, exercise, wake-up times, etc.
As far as things I am in control of, nothing really jumps out.

If you unexpectedly had a completely free afternoon, what would you do with that time?
Probably come home and read a book, watch TV, or go to Target.

Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorderly environment?
Very uncomfortable.

How much time do you spend looking for things you can’t find?
Not very much time at all.

Are you motivated by competition?
I almost said yes. But the truth is I am mostly motivated by a fear of failing to meet expectations.

Do you find it easier to do things for other people than to do things for yourself?
It depends on what it is. Probably other people though. Unless it comes to frivilous spending. I have a hard time spending money on other people. I am a bit stingy.

Do you work constantly? or think you should be working?
I have focus issues so no I don’t work constantly. I am constantly multitasking.

Do you embrace rules or flout rules?
Embrace them.

Do you work well under pressure?
To a certain extent, yes.

What would your perfect day look like?
Sleeping in, a yummy breakfast, a quiet morning reading, an afternoon spent binge watching TV, a sunny evening to take the dogs on a walk. Candles lit, 65 degrees, and a light breeze.

How much TV do you watch in a week (include computer time spent watching videos, movies, YouTube)?
15 hours maybe.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
I am definitely more of a morning person, but only once I’ve gotten out of bed.

Do you like to be in the spotlight?
Not really. I like to be remembered but I don’t like to be the center of attention.

Is your life “on hold” in any aspect? Until you finish your thesis, get married, lose weight?
In some ways yes. I keep telling myself when my life is back in order I’ll get back into exercise. When my life is more in order I’ll catch up on my daily bible readings. I need to change this. Or at least I want to.

What would you do if you had more energy?
Exercise, clean, take up hobbies.

If you suddenly had an extra room in your house, what would you do with it?
Make it into a gym so that I’d have no excuse for not going. I already have a reading room 🙂

What people and activities energize you? Make you feel depleted?

Energize- Getting things done. Being able to check things off my list. Accomplishing what I set out to do.
Deplete- Too much forced socialization. I genuinely am an introvert and hanging out with people often, and for extended periods of time makes me cranky.

Is it hard for you to get rid of things that you no longer need or want?
In general, no.

Do you get frustrated easily?
Yes, I do.

On a typical night, what time do you go to bed? How many hours of sleep do you get?
Go to bed between 9 and 10:30 and get anywhere from 7-9 hours of sleep.

If at the end of the year, you had accomplished one thing, what is the one accomplishment that would make the biggest difference to your happiness?
I think I’d like to have a consistent routine and more energy. I’d like to consistently exercise, consistently clean my house on a certain day, and just feel more energized all the time.

Ah, now where were we?

The reason I didn’t update earlier in the week that our pipe burst was because I was waiting for my blood test results to come in to do a post. I was pretty nervous that Monday I went to have my blood work done. My stomach was kind of in knots and I was just plain nervous. Again, I practiced prayer, and asked God to help me through it. I got to my appointment 15 minutes early and told the nurse I was a little nervous. She had me lay down and took my blood and it was over before I knew it. I was a little nervous during it but the nurse just kept chatting and keeping my mind focused on things. (She was asking about my vacations and it made me have to think and recall things).

When I left that day I found out that I could sign up on the LabCorp website and I’d get an email when my blood test results were in. I signed up. Mistake. I stalked the website for the next 3 days compulsively wanting to see what my results were. Thursday around 11am they came in. Keep in perspective that Thursday was the morning after our pipe had burst at 11:30. I wasn’t in the best shape mentally.

I logged on to the LabCorp website. I pulled up my results. I stalked and had a mental breakdown. I saw some numbers in bold. Were those the only bad results? I don’t really know how to read this. Oh God what does it mean. I think this is telling me I’m super vitamin deficient, well being the starting range for low. And Oh my word, is that my cholesterol. What does that even mean? Frantic Googling ensues. Oh my gosh my bad cholesterol is as high as my total cholesterol should be.

I called my doctors office and tried to play it cool and ask if my results had come in. They had and they wanted to schedule a follow up. They wouldn’t tell me anything. My heart started to palpitate. Was there a result worse than high cholesterol and low vitamins on there? Did I have cancer? Was I dying? Did they find something dangerous? (These are genuinely the thoughts running through my head).

Well, Monday came and one week after my blood work I was back at the doctor. She informed my that my LDL was 192, my total cholesterol was 292. My HDL was 90 (well that’s good!), and my triglycerides were 50 (phew! another good score). She told me that we had some options for the cholesterol. Even though I had a family history, she was a little uncomfortable with how high it was for a 24 year old. She said I could take Statins but not if we were trying for kids. She said I could take another type of medicine that is safe for when you’re trying to start a family, but is much more pill heavy. She told me I could try and add supplements like fish oil. She told me I could try diet and exercise.

In the end we settled with I would take fish oil and try and modify my diet and add more exercise (hence why I’m a bit bummed that I haven’t worked out in 3 weeks). I’ll be honest. It’s not easy. I thought I ate somewhat okay (sans for the sweets and the cheeses) before my cholesterol test. But it turns out when it comes to healthy eating there are so many different ways you can eat healthy. So I am working on it. Any advice anyone has would greately appreciated. I know that loosing 10lbs and consistently getting exercise would go along way. For now I am just trying to add more fiber, whole grains, fruits, and veggies to my diet.

The other issue was I had incredibly low vitamin D. I was put on a supplement of 50,000 units (I forget what the unit is) once a week. I’m not that upset about that. She said some people just need more, but when I saw the result online it genuinely freaked me out. Mine was pretty deficient though and she said after a week or two I’d probably notice I was less tired and even might have a better mood. We’ll see.

Anyway, that’s where that saga left off. 🙂 If you have any advice on better eating for lowering LDL please feel free to leave it!

 

The Best Laid Plans…

I’m sure if you were a reader of this blog you were wondering where I have gone. After all, I was doing pretty good for the first part of January of keeping this thing up to date. On January 22nd my husband woke me up at about 11:30 pm and said, “So, just FYI we have about 3 inches of water downstairs, do you know how to turn off the water?” Apparently, courtesy of the polar vortex (aka, it being super cold) we had a pipe freeze and burst. Thank God we were home, that’s all I can say. And Thank God for our dogs who started barking to let us know.

The damage was pretty bad. It wasn’t jaw dropped but we had to cut out part of our ceiling. Our entire living room floor is being replaced. We had to repaint all the walls in our living room. We had water coming in through light fixtures, so those needed to be replaced as well. The builder had done a pretty crumby job at insulating our house so Thank God (sense a theme) my Dad knows a good contractor who added in extra insulation to keep (at least that area) from freezing over again.

I’m not going to lie. This was probably the most stressed I’ve been since we were in the process of buying this house. Our whole downstairs was practically use less. We had giant fans in dehumidifiers in here for 10 days (not an exaggeration) because we couldn’t get the company to come back and get them. It snowed twice during this time making it impossible to not track dirt in everywhere. We’ve had people in our house almost every day for the last two weeks who don’t live here. We’ve been thrown out of our routine. It’s been less thank great. But honestly I couldn’t have gotten through it without God, my amazingly calm husband, and my super supportive family.

Pretty much everything is back to normal now except for a few things. We still need to get our lighting fixtures replaced out. (The electrician is coming Saturday). We still need to replace the carpet with a laminate flooring (hopefully being purchased this weekend), and we need to have this place cleaned. I normally don’t mind cleaning myself but this house has been such a construction zone and out of sorts nightmare the last 3 weeks that I feel like it needs a professional.

In the course of all this chaos I have completely lost track of my happiness project. It’s February 4th and I have no theme for this month. I am trying to get better at everything I do constantly but the last few weeks have been a struggle on me. (For more reasons that I’ll go into in a spate blog). I need to start getting back on track. I think that’s going to start with exercise. I am most disappointed that I haven’t worked out in 3.5 weeks so I want to add that back. But beyond that, I just feel a little stuck. I felt like I was making such great strides towards getting my life organized and practicing happier habits and then BOOM God throws this at me like, “Haha, don’t think that I’m ever not the one in charge of your future.” Don’t get me wrong, I don’t thing it was a punishment, rather, get yourself in perspective little human.

Anyway, so that’s where I’ve been. I’m actually about to type a 2nd update post but for the sake of organization and shorter posts I wanted to keep it separate.